As the sky darkened I went down the stairs. I had this urge to sit down after four steps…but I resisted. I grabbed a half ripe peach and slowly walked the way reverse again. While eating the peach I sit by the window…without the pillows as they are still drying. 
There is this feeling lingering…perhaps the one that does not let me sleep.
For the first time I miss him. After over two months I feel enough to actually miss him, to actually feel the severe hurt he has caused to my heart.
I cannot forgive but I can feel. That is all that’s left to me.

The tears come naturally. My make-up on my hands, mixed with some salty liquid…a bit like the mud of a desert after a long drought now fertile again.

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