It took surprisingly only two hours to clean the whole house (as far as this is ever possible). I did not get up until half past eleven…even sitting by the window with my morning tea I did not wake. Breaking my diet with lots of chocolate yesterday, had its effect: itching all over my body and severe tiredness.
Today I am caught in another world, like blinded I did the cleaning, then got dressed in my bathroom (well, I was dressed while doing the cleaning, of course, but only got into something nicer) and went to have a coffee. With the assurance that my laundry wasn’t done yet after I had my last sip I walked around…by the pier watching the children throwing stones into the waves. Then I ended up, as usual when I am bored, in the library. Some people looked at me as if I was mad when I actively searched for an English dictionary. It was nowhere to be found. Under their eyes I followed a different approach…the visual one. I grabbed some books of black and white photography, fascinated it all came together. My mouth must have stood open in awe, as some young lad (youth, as in my age, is a rarity in this town…only a few babies drag the average underneath 60) behind one of the computers stared at me (he always did when he looked up from the screen, specially the moment when he hung up on a call in anger (as far as anger can be expressed in a library)…after that his music was louder.
I made up my mind, I will sketch a manifesto for my own ”poetic design”. Photography and poetry are so close, probably just like any other art. I can borrow much from it, learn from it and its techniques. Their only difference is: in poetry you create (tension, light, filters) and in photography you use what is given to you. A vital difference to be taken to the test in near future.
Half an hour before closing time I finished looking through the three books, flung my white jacket over my shoulders and walked out under the eyes of the angry man – not without looking through the shelves for the dictionary one last time. I did not look back, but felt it: the hope.