He is busy lately and my hormones tell me I should be with him more often than five hours per day. With fear I realized it is an obsession…he became an obsession. I would have probably stalked him if my brain did not stop me.I am scared that he may stay away from me because of my obsession…he shouldnt be suffocated by me.
I broke with my past and this morning at work I thought about how to finalise this break…how to break with my parents. Should I write them a letter? Should I better call…and if I do so, will I shout or cry? I thought about words, phrases…full of anger, disappointment and lost hope.
Is it time already? Though I only rely on them financially…that’s why I wanted to wait with it…but it is like using them.
Well, now I will live my life normally…I decided I will write the letter that I quit the contract for my room only next month…because in case I do not go to Britain then I definitely have to stay here until end of September.
Yesterday I wrote a new poem…after ages…still I was crying inside. weird.
This isnt the one but I felt like showing one here too.
There are the veins of mine that lay next to your body,
Slowly exerted energy bleeds out,
Apathetically a smile on the dark face shimmers
the envious gazes I flout
It cannot be me disquiet your regarded bulwark
Built upon dispassion amiss T
here are my eyes watching you
Moves, gestures burn into the mind.